One season blends into the next. Let’s take stock of our football demons and exorcise them with fervor, with the intention of getting our inner chi realigned. If Miami Dolphins fans had an online dating profile, there’s no doubt about the sexiness — the Dolphins do have the best uniform/color scheme in all of professional sports. However, any prospective date might see the absence of a twinkle in the eyes, or maybe it’s “Adam Gase” eyes, or maybe the referee just tossed a flag right into the pupil a la Orlando Brown. Yes, Dolphins fans are hot...and crazy. Years of mediocre will do that to even the purest of souls. I want to work on that “crazy” part for a moment, though — you need not succumb existential gratification to the ghosts of Dolphins’ past. Every off-season, Dolphins fans will comb through the warts of yesteryear, but the wound doesn’t heal, it is renewed against the backdrop of perpetual Playoff winlessness. I aim to chip away at those bricks weighing Dolphins fans down. Let’s start with last year’s defense led by Matt Burke. Pseudonyms My first proposition is that Matt Burke is called a different name that rhymes. Possibilities: Cat Smirk Fat Jerk Rat Lurk Shat Quirk This will buffer the violent gag reflex you’ll surely experience, and you can focus on healing instead of throwing up your mimosa. Science FANS DON'T CARE THREAD What originally started as an investigation of the "injuries are the root of the 7-7 record" quickly became damning evidence against Matt Burke. The following data is from Week 5 onward (when I deemed it possible to say we were "injury-ravaged"): https://t.co/ABMQXKZJaz— A-A-Ron (@ASuttonPFN) December 20, 2018 Check out that thread. I analyze things for real in there. Spoiler: Cat Smirk sucked. If you don’t believe me, then believe Minkah Fitzpatrick instead. Deep Breaths While I covered the NFL Combine for the Pro Football Network this year, I saw Shat Quirk on several occasions — close enough to flick a booger on him. Despite the fact that most of my favorite movies have an element of revenge in it, psychologically, revenge isn’t as satisfying as you might think. If you see this face again, resist booger-flicking. Here’s what you do: Mark Konezny-USA TODAY Sports Inhale and exhale. If inhales are mixed with THC, I understand. Go use the bathroom: #1 or #2 will be suffice, but considering the circumstances, be wary of a #3. Donate money to SUTTON. Read one page of a book. If you don’t have a book, read the ingredients list on your shampoo bottle. Write Wide 9 on a post-it note. Then crumble it up, channel your inner Dan Marino and laser the thing against a wall. Make sure you pick it up and throw it away or Joe Philbin will be most displeased. You remember why you’re mad? Neither do I. Conclusion Taking this comprehensive approach to battling football crises, in later installments we can apply this sure-to-be famous methodology to other areas of discomfort: Drew Brees, no Super Bowl wins for Dan Marino, the Native American burial ground the stadium is built on, Miko Grimes, Ricky’s retirement, etc... I’m here for you, fam — let me know down in the Comments Section which demon you’d like eradicated from your consciousness.

Welcome to the Splash Zone, the quickest way to get your day started off right. We bring you a rundown of Miami Dolphins news from the last 24 hours. A culture change is underway with the Miami Dolphins. Discipline and competition are among some of the topics the Brian Flores stresses daily. Under Adam Gase, the players looked undisciplined on the field quite frequently as penalties and big plays against the defense were a common thing. You can check out that story here, and the rest of the day’s round-up below. Brian Flores experience: T.N.T. wall, one-line mantras and more in Miami - Miami Dolphins Blog- ESPNFrom sprints to the wall to paying rent every day, the first-year coach has implemented a culture change within the confines of Dolphins headquarters. Dolphins Offseason Father’s Day memories of game day with Don Shula | Miami HeraldSharon Shula, one of Don Shula’s five children, recounts what it was like for a 15-year-old girl to spend time with coach Don Shula before a Miami Dolphins home game during the team’s dynasty days of the 1970s. Phinsider News You May Have Missed Happy Father’s Day from your favorite mass reproducer - The PhinsiderNope, it’s not Antonio Cromartie or Philip Rivers — it’s me, SUTTON! Miami Dolphins News 6/15/19: Dolphins 2019 Draft Class Officially Signed - The PhinsiderWelcome to the Splash Zone, the quickest way to get your day started off right. We bring you a rundown of Miami Dolphins news from the last 24 hours. Miami Dolphins 90-in-90 roster breakdown 2019: Maurice Smith - The PhinsiderOur 90-in-90 series continues today, the eighth day of the series with the seventh player on the schedule. We are still one player behind, but we will make up for it soon. Today, we take another... Caption This! - The PhinsiderI have zero issues with our new quarterback’s spine being manipulated during drills.

Hello from Cape May, New Jersey! Technically, this picture was snapped back home in Miami but I wanted to share it before this entire lewk… The post Freakishly Colorful appeared first on The Wordy Girl.

The Marlins once held a 4-2 advantage, but were unable to secure a series win on Father’s Day. The Pittsburgh Pirates attacked Marlins reliever Nick Anderson in the seventh inning, scoring two runs on three hits, including a go-ahead RBI double from Josh Bell, to clinch the three-game series win, 5-4. Sandy Alcantara has been lights out on the mound at Marlins Park as of late, allowing just one earned run in his previous 20 innings there. He was solid again Sunday afternoon on a rainy Father’s Day (roof was closed, of course). Your browser does not support HTML5 video. The contest remained scoreless until the top of the fourth, when the seventh hitter in Pittsburgh’s order, Jung Ho Kang, ripped a two-out, two-run double down the left field line, bringing home Bell and Colin Moran. In six innings of work, Alcantara coughed up three runs, walked two batters and struck out six. Chris Archer was cruising along until Miami jumped on the righty in the home half of the fourth. The first two men reached base: a leadoff opposite-field double from Garrett Cooper—extending his hitting streak to nine games—and a walk to Brian Anderson. Harold Ramírez, with two on and one down, mustered a three-run shot into The Clevelander, putting the Marlins ahead, 3-2. Your browser does not support HTML5 video. It was Ramirez’s first homer since May 21 against the Detroit Tigers. He finished 2-for-4 Sunday. A critical moment occurred later in that frame. The red-hot Cooper came up again with Miami leading 4-2, the bases loaded and two outs. He drilled a fly ball 346 feet deep to right that was caught on the warning track to limit the damage—so close to a grand slam. Overall, Archer stared down Marlins hitters for five innings, allowing four runs on seven hits, while punching out seven. Pittsburgh’s bullpen prevented Miami from tying the ballgame. Richard Rodriguez, Kyle Crick and Felipe Vázquez tossed four scoreless frames. Miami’s Tayron Guerrero and Wei-Yin Chen each pitched one perfect inning. The losing pitcher in this contest, Anderson had been thriving during the first two weeks of June. Frustrating step back for the rookie right-hander. Nick Anderson in June: 6.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 10 K, team-leading 19.4% swinging strike rate https://t.co/ekWOoxQS7a— Fish Stripes (@fishstripes) June 16, 2019 The Marlins finished their nine-game, 10-day homestand a frustrating 2-7. They dropped two of three to the St. Louis Cardinals and Pittsburgh Pirates. Atlanta swept Miami last weekend. At 25-44, the Marlins will embark on a seven-game road trip, opening a four-game set against the St. Louis Cardinals, then a three-game weekend series against Philadelphia. Elieser Hernandez will make his second start of the season, filling in for lefty Caleb Smith, who is recovering from left hip inflammation. Hernandez faced the Cardinals on June 11, tossing 5 2?3 innings, allowing three runs on five hits, striking out seven. St. Louis will throw out Miles Mikolas, who took a loss against Miami on June 12. First pitch is scheduled for 8:15 p.m. ET. Pirates vs. Marlins box score (Baseball Theater) FINAL-Marlins close out nine-game, ten-day homestand a disappointing 2-7.W: Richard Rodriguez (1-3)L: Nick Anderson (2-3)S: Felipe Vazquez (16)Pittsburgh (32-39): 5 | 11 | 0Miami (25-44): 4 | 9 | 0@fishstripes— Brandon Liguori (@BrandonRLiguori) June 16, 2019 Fish Picks answer key Alcantara Over Over Yes Pirates